FW: Week of proving!

17 Jan 2010

Hi family,

Things have been going well. On Monday we will be moving into a small three room house, our lease is up and we have found a better place to live. We will be living in a four missioanry apartment, and I'm way excited for it! You can still keep mailng me at the address you are now.

This past week has really proven me in many ways. We started a long chain of exchanges with missionaries, which always takes a spiritual toll on me. Going from place to place and never getting a good two hours to study and fill up our reserves really kills a missionary's determination to be faithful. It is pretty much a rule of thumb that if you want to be better at everything, the first place to start with improvement is studying the scriprures because after that everything will increase.

If before my mission I was told that I would face all the trials that I faced before my mission that I had run away from, I might have changed my mind. I figured my life is a living testimony of Alma 41 and the Law of restoration. The very trials and challenges that I had faced and ran from early in my life have been what God has "refined" me with out here. The differacne now is that I want to change and learn how to overcome these trials the correct way.

I'll give you an example, I can remember having several "power struggles" throughout my life and the way I handled myself during those "power struggles" was less than tolerable. I would have never imagined that I would have to face the challenge of a "power struggle" on my mission. They are not conducive to the Sprit and when trying to make decisions that are important while in one is a disaster and very unfruitful. I have had several chioces when it has come to deal with these power struggles, I can either handle it the same way that I handled it in the past and fail at whatever it is that I'm doing, or humble myself and seek out a more excellent way of handling things. I havent really been able to find that more excellent way, but I'm walking by faith and being patient and hoping for the Lord to help guide me through to a new place.

Today we had a recent convert named Scott, speak to us in sacrament and he explained to us what the Church really offers us. He explained his view of God before the Elders started teaching him and it really opened my eyes to how others understand Heavenly Father. Sometimes I think everyone sees things my way, and I don't stop to think about other points of view.

That's all for this week, sorry for not writing more hand written letters.

Love,
Elder Conrad

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FW: 1 Nephi 1:20 Elder Kelly Conrad

11 Jan 2010

I have begun re-reading the Book of Mormon in accordance with the Stake goals that have been set by our Stake President here in Tulsa. We are suppost to read it by May 1st. To be honset I have only read the Book once through in my life and I finished that read on the plane flight frrm Utah to here. I have tried several times to read it through, but things have always come up, and there is a whole list of excuses that I can make up, but I simply haven't done it. I always thought that to be a good learning experience I needed to read a whole book from cover to cover and retain everything that was read. I have since learned that I learn the most through studying what I realy want to learn about, and the application of what I learned. Doing this creates a greater desire to learn even more about other things, and has begun to build my confidence up in all aspects of my life. So reading through books has not always been the best way for me to learn.
When I started the first book of Nephi I was hung up on a verse found in the first chapter, is verse 20. Nephi is giving a brief account of his fathers life and calling to be prophet to call the Jews to repentence and in verse 20 he says, "But behold, I , Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he has chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." What I take from this is that Nephi is saying that he is going to show us how God watches over those that are chosen, and exercise faith in Him, and that God will make it possible that they that are chosen and have faith can be delivered out of anything. This tells me that while I read the Book of Mormon I need to be looking for the things that God does because of Nephi and his family's faith. I can think of several times where Nephi was the only one faithful and was given power unto deliverance, the brass plates, the bow, the boat and so on. But this is not what I really learned from this scripture, what I really learned was that Nephi is writing in a journal and the Spirit is helping him see where throughout his life he has lived by faith and how the tender mercies of the Lord has blessed him. Nephi didn't know that the third time going back into Jerusalm was going to do the trick! It was only after the events of getting the brass plates did he realize what the Lord had done because of his faith. I have begun to think about how this could be applied to me and I have come up with this thought, "I have a life full of faith, I need to be looking back on it and see how the Lord has watched over me, and blessed me with the power unto deliverance because of the acts of faith in my life. I have begun to notice more of the Lords hands being involved in my life, and learning of the moments when those tender mercies have happened and strengthened my faith. I am learning from my past, applying it to the present and preparing for the future. This is something important for me to remember.

It has gotten warmer here; we were in the fifties, which could have made for great basketball weather, but we decided to play at the church instead. It was a well needed break from things.
I've got to go; we are running a bit behind schedule. I love you Mom and Dad and thank you for all you are doing for me!
Love,
Elder Kelly Conrad

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FW: All my needs Elder D. Kelly Conrad

03 Jan 2010
New Years was ok, we had breakfeast at the mission home with a lot of the missionaries that are serving here in Tulsa, then later in the day we went to a baptism that Elder Madsen and Elder Erbe had. Elder Madsen was my MTC companion, and we are serving around each other here. He is another one of my best friends that I have found out here, I respect him a lot and turn to him for ideas and when I need an honest opinion on something.

It seems like my whole mission has changes with Elder Harrison and Elder Jacobson leaving. It's like I have lost all familiarity, and have had to deal with another transition. But things are getting back to normal.

President Merkley is the most humble leader that I have ever observed. Not saying that I have never met anyone that hasn't been as humble as him, but he is the first one that I have really come to observe with my new understanding and life. There is a great difference in his leadership style and I really like it. One of the greatest turning points of my mission was my second transfer in Fort Smith while I served with Elder Buhler. At Zone Conference we were instructed by someone other then President Merkley on what were appropriate preperation day activities; we were told that if we were to do anything other then our normal activities, ie, shop, email, clean our apartment, or write letters, that we were to have the mission presidents permission. Well, if you can remember we played basketball every Monday there in Fort Smith, and with this instruction I was being told that I wasn't suppost to play basketball unless I had permission. This caused a problem, so after the meeting I found President Merkley and told him about basketball being played every Monday, and asked his permission for the activity. His response to my question was what brought the great turning in my life. He said, "I trust that you are a righteous leader." He continued to not give me a direct yes, or no answer, but told me that with the trust he had in me he knew that I would make the right choice. He allowed me my agency to choose what was right, he could have easily told me that I was alright, or not alright playing basketball on Mondays, but he left it up to me to make the choice on whether or not it was ok to play. With him not giving me an answer I was put into a situation that reqiured some thought and action on my part. Instead of being spoon feed an answer I was being asked to seek revelation to suit the needs of my situation.

I have had the goal my whole mission to learn how to better follow the Spirit and receive revelation, and here was the trial that brought the know-how for these goals. After a lot of thought, and pondering I figured that basketball was an ok preperation day activity and we kept at it every Monday till I left. This choice brought with it several blessing, and I know now that I had made the right choice. Now because of this experience I seek for revelation for myself, and for my stewardships before I turn to someone else and take the easy way out. President Merkley has taught me a lot about agency these past few months and how to recive revelation.

Things are transitioning well with Elder Hancock and I. The other day we had the companionship melt, down, or the "stormin" part of the transition. He is struggling to find his place around here, and has the mind set that if we aren't solving all the worlds problems at once then he is doing a horrible job. So it made things a bit tense, but all I can do is be patient, and help him through it. I understand what he's going through because its what I went through with Elder Begay.

Other than that things are going well, the weather is good, my clothes are still fitting me, my shoes are still holding together, and I'm getting all the food I need. All my needs are being taken care of.

Thank you for all that you do for me!
Love,
Elder Conrad

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