Well, another week has come and gone! After Christmas things have just sped up. Zone conference this week was good and I learned a lot from it. I gained some really good insight to my life and certain things that I have been seeking understanding for.
Ever since I can remember I have always had a problem communicating with people and have always had the tendency to think faster than I could speak. I really noticed this problem when I started writing in my journal before my mission. When I would re-read what I would write, I noticed how I would leave words out, and that in mid sentence I would change the topic, and direction. When I review my journal entries now, I see a change in the way I write; I am able to write legibly, in full sentences, and my thoughts are conveyed more understandably. Every time I notice this change I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father. The reason I say that is because my writing has been something that I have been very self conscience about my whole life. What I care about, He cares about, and He has blessed me in areas that I needed.
The way that He has brought about this change has been through my companions and the things they have taught me. I can go through a list of things each companion has done to intercede in my life to bring about this change in me. One of those most prevalent companions that helped was Elder Harrison. When I first came out here I was socially awkward, and had very low self confidence, which really could be seen when I spoke with others. My thought processes had me thinking that if I wasn't being talked too every moment of the day, that something was wrong with me, and it created anxiety and frustration with in me, and my companionships. I was afraid of being myself around others, and thought that I had to be perfect in all things for anyone to like me. So naturally I was quiet and fearful when it came to building relationships with others. One of the best attributes that my companion had, and that I really took a notice to, was that he could build relationships with everyone. I always admired that of him and sought often to be able to do what I saw him do everyday with people. When I was older as a missionary and was a bit more mature, and lost most of my fear of being myself, I got the chance to serve with Elder Harrison again. This second time was the time where I really learned how to build relationships. Instead of having to focus on my inability to teach, and also finding my testimony of the Book of Mormon like the first time we served together, I was able to focus more on what it was that I really needed and wanted to learn about, which was building relationships. The seven weeks we spent together was quite the furnace. I remember times where the only comfort that I could find was in the thoughts that would often come, "He is a great missionary, you have a lot to learn from him, just be patient and it will be worth it!" It really was worth it. At that time those trials almost broke me, but when looking back now they seem very small compared to what is being faced now. This was just a few things I learned while at zone conference.
Things are going good here now, I'm getting along with Elder Hancock, and things are going to be good in the future.
That's all for this week, I love you and thank you for all that you are doing for me.
Love,
Elder Conrad
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