Monday, March 29, 2010

FW: hard to express

Mom and Dad- 28 Mar 2010

This past week went well. It was a very spiritual and physical
draining one to say the least.

In Zone Conference this week we learned more about setting
baptisms dates and setting goals and making plans. There is a lot that go
into these to topics. We had a workshop where we did role plays in the hopes
of gaining shills that will allow us to build relations with people and find
those who are elect. It was a very insightful workshop that helped me
realize a lot about myself.

As I serve longer and longer I am beginning to see that it is
getting harder and harder to express the knowledge that has been gained. It
seems to be a trend in the church; the Gospel allows us to learn and
understand so much that we can get to points where we don't know how to
articulate what it is that we know and understand. We just had testimony
meeting today and I noticed how almost every person that got up said that
they couldn't put it into words how they felt. They try to use words like "I
am so grateful and thankful" which don't really explain how they feel. But
you can sometimes feel what they mean when they expressing their
thankfulness or gratefulness. As I have recognized this I have gained more
of an appreciation for the Holy Ghost and the role that he plays in
communication. His role in missionary work is essential. People know right
from wrong and when they come in contact with good things they are drawn to
it. If they can feel the Spirit that we as missionaries carry they will be
more likely to be drawn to the message we share. I have really begun to
watch and pay attention to my feelings when being taught and when talking to
others. It's been beneficial these past few days as I have made this a
focus. It has brought a lot of understanding and learning that is difficult
to explain.

It's been a goal of mine to better understand my feelings and
recognize the Spirit; I guess I'm now being lead through the challenges and
trials that are going to make this goal become a blessing that can be given.


I have learned a lot about the law of obedience and sacrifice
here lately. I have been praying for certain blessings and I have begun to
see a pattern in my life. Of course this pattern doesn't apply to every
blessing that is given, but it can in certain instances. Here's the cycle; I
pray for a blessing and set a goal through prayer with God. Here is how he
helps me receive the blessing: he gives me a brief time with that blessing,
allowing me time to learn how to use it; then he puts me through a
challenge, or a trial that requires my faithfulness in using that blessing.
This is where he tests me to see if I really want what I prayed for. This is
where my obedience is tested. When I prove obedient and faithful the
blessing is given. A very simple pattern, but the length and time frame
that this pattern cycles varies from blessing to blessing.

For example; I have prayed for understanding on what I am to
learn with my current companion, and I got my answer. The answer was that I
needed to change the way that I thought about things. I then set a goal to
change the way I think. I was given a few successful days where I was able
to correct my thoughts. After these few days I saw that I could handle
controlling my thoughts and that it was very helpful with every stage in my
life. After those few days with this ability I went through some of the most
mentally challenging times that I have ever had and in those days I was
tested to see if I really wanted what I prayed for. I guess what I'm
describing is the scripture in Ether 12:5 "ye receive no witness until after
the trial of your faith."

It's really funny how God teaches us things that are plainly
taught in the scriptures.

Amy is doing well. This week she brought her sister to church
that really enjoyed it. We are going over to her place tomorrow to teach her
and her grandma. It's going to be really good. She is set and ready to go
for the tenth.

That's all I got for this week. Thank you for your support and
your words of advice.

Love,

Elder Kelly Conrad

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